Get Me Outta Here

Get me Outta here!

My mate Chris and I headed off to the Grand Mall today, or Manky Mall as we not so affectionately call it, in search of some bright sparkly shoes. It is thee place to go if you are in search of something along the lines of pole dancing attire, or hooker gear if you get my drift.

I’ve never been able to fathom why all the shops are full of such raunchy kit in such a conservative country. Where do they wear it? I never see anyone dressed in it and there is no way the pavements of Cairo would allow you to walk in those shoes without breaking an ankle.

As for the underwear…well I’m assuming the peep hole bras and undies are for married ladies only in the privacy of their home. That’s fine, it’s just there is sooo much of it on display, do ALL egyptian ladies wear it? The sheer volume of it on display would leave you to think so, or maybe it’s just eye candy for the male shoppers and employees to brighten up their day as they stroll around.

Anyway, the pole dancing shoes were for me as I decided a bit of bling would brighten up a rather plain dress I have for the fancy ball I’m off to on Friday. So Chris and I wound our way up the escalators to the top floor which has a whole row of shops given over to all things tacky. We spied a very fetching mint green evening gown with a price tag that appeared to say 213le or about £20 quid, so in we popped for a nosey. Yes we are easily distracted, I know we were meant to be looking for shoes. Then all hell broke loose…..

We could hear shouting and screaming outside but we couldn’t see out, so off course we headed to the door for another nosey. Our nosiness is going to get us into trouble some day. There were lots of guys some with iron bars all fighting with each other. Not the usual Egyptian fighting which involves three boys holding one back, but proper real adrenalin fuelled hatred type fighting.

We retreated back into the shop but kept an eye out. Once they had moved away a bit we made our escape, or so we thought. We nipped out to the right and made our way along a back route which would have gotten us clear except there was another group fighting at that end, we were effectively hemmed in. A kindly older lady saw us and brought us into what appeared to be the Mall management office.

She said they were drug addicts and mimed shooting up into her arm, and that it happens every day! Don’t worry she said it will be over in 5 minutes. Well, it wasn’t. We sat for a while around a very smart boardroom table until the glass wall behind me shook and I jumped out of my seat.

They were right outside now pushing up against the glass wall and quite frankly it was pretty scary. We moved to the other side of the room to a window which the kindly old lady said we could jump through if they managed to break through the wall. Considering we were about 5 floors up that wasn’t a great option.

She was on the phone with security or the police but there was no sign of them. Chris was pretty calm, I was giggling but not in a good way, more a nervous get me outta here way, and it was really really noisy. There must have been about forty very angry men outside.

Eventually they moved away a bit and a couple of guys came in to escort us out. They brought us to a lift but I couldn’t be bothered waiting on it so Chris and I hot footed past the crowds now watching and down the escalator.

You could still hear them five floors below, but that didn’t deter us stopping off to pick up some very sparkly ear rings to match the shoes which will surely turn my ears green by midnight on Friday.

No police to be seen, it was around a half an hour since it started and still going strong when we left, so much for her 5 minutes. So people, avoid the Grand Mall between 1pm and 2pm as she told us they were fighting because the Mall rules now say all shops must be cleaned and opened by 12:30 which is far too early for the shop keepers….. hence the hoards of screaming men and iron bars! Oh Egypt!

Masalama, Slainte, Bye.