Fags are a no Brainer-updated

@Irisheyeoncairo: Yip“@tomgara: Egypt opposition should stop protesting and do what every other Egyptian is doing today: stockpiling Stella and steel rebar.”

That’s about my take on the current situation. The opposition has announced tonight that they will be boycotting the referendum, that’s about right too, Egyptians are excellent at doing sweet F…  all. 

Just in case some of you are lost by the reference to Stella and rebar, Morsi has hiked the tax on beer to 200% as of today and rebar to …..personally I don’t give a crap about the rebar but as the hubby is an Irish builder(yes we get everywhere) he may have something to say about that. On reflection as he is a Northern Irish Protestant  he may have more to say about the “Irish” bit…..

I’m torn between watching the riots in Belfast and those in Cairo. Obviously the Belfast ones are much more professional, decades of training mean the molotovs actually hit where they are meant to go as opposed to the Egyptians who spontaneously combust. They just haven’t got the over arm technique quite right and according to my egyptian friends petrol burns  (self inflicted I may add) are the most common injury amongst protestors.

We may see a reduction in the use of molotovs in the coming days as what with the increase in the price of beer bottles and petrol too they may become economically unviable. Maybe that was Morsi’s plan all along.

Moving along to the cheese, Nesto cheese to be precise. The Muslim brotherhood stormed the oppositions sit in (yes “sit in” I told you they were good at doing sweet F… all) and found proof of an international conspiracy. The protesters had imported cheese triangles, rather like dairy-lea for my Irish friends, that proved it.

 The hidden hands and foreign fingers had obviously paid for this cheese delicacy as it is way beyond the budget of your average Egyptian, therefore proving that the international community was paying protesters, in cheese, to create havoc on the streets of Cairo, who am I to argue…. Here is the video judge for yourself

The incriminating evidence….

I have it on good authority that Nesto cheese will also be subject to a 200% tax hike, obviously this is aimed at hitting those foreign agitators where it hurts, in their purse/cheese strings. 

Protests have been called again for Tuesday by both sides, this is shaping up to be ugly. We will have the salafis who are camped outside Media city protesting that the opposition want “men to marry men” you couldn’t dream this up, but hey when 40% of the population can’t read you can easily hoodwink them, and they are happy to be paid in Egyptian cheese, although they are more partial to cooking oil…….I still haven’t figured out what they do with the vast quantities in every shopping trolley….

Over at the Palace we will have the opposition, their numbers may be slightly depleted due to restrictions sure to be placed on Nesto cheese, but perhaps an accommodation can be found. I would recommend all foreign fingers to invest in cigarettes, all Egyptians smoke and even with the increased duty fags are still cheaper than cheese, it’s a no brainer.

UPDATE…

At 2am, just 3 hours after this was written Morsi announced via his Facebook page, YES via Facebook that the tax laws were now void ……….sorry folks to all of you who rushed out to stock up on Fags and Beer, but who knows what he will come up with today….. I couldnt Possibly guess…….A ban on razors, compulsory three quarter lenghth trousers, just bear a thought in mind

Somewhere in DC there is a man on a ledge, his office sign reads, Manager-IMF -Egypt Desk @salamamoussa via Twitter…..

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