That husband of mine, Pesky Pete, would need to seriously buck up his ideas. We had a deal and there will be consequences………I think i told you before about moving to our new apartment, upon inspecting the kitchen he was devastated to see there was no room for his beer fridge. After some gentle persuasion, and probably one too many glasses of wine, I reluctantly agreed to the removal of the dishwasher to allow the beer fridge to be installed, with conditions attached of course.
The conditions required him to wash the dishes of an evening, but 3 months later and things are beginning to slide. He is shirking his responsibilities, and I put it down to two factors. First and foremost is his best buddy Sideshow Bob. This is the man who newly arrived in Cairo purchased a monkey on his way home from the ACE club, yes a real MONKEY. He named it little MJ in honor of Michael Jackson but thats beside the point, and rather discomforting to think about…
I’m not sure what he imbibed in the ACE club that made this seem like a good idea but suffice to say his wife Chris (not her real name obviously poor soul) had rather different views when he arrived home at 2am and despatched him immediately to return it, once they caught it that is…..I’ve had some people question whether this is an urban myth, but no, it’s true, backed up by big Mo the estate agent ( yes the tall good looking one and captain of Cairo Rugby) He had the owner of the apartment call him to request the removal of the monkey and/or possibly his tenants too.
This brings me to the second factor that is distracting Pesky from his husbandly duties. RUGBY. I shall say it again RUGBY. Now those of you who know me are aware that I have been a rugby widow for years. I have accepted this fact unconditionally but last night took the biscuit.
Whilst waiting on the kettle to boil to wash the dishes, don’t ask, it’s Egypt and I am grateful that they plumbed the hot water to the shower, but would it really have been that difficult to connect the kitchen sink too? Never mind, whilst waiting on the kettle Pesky Skyped our son for a little chat. In theory this was to confirm flight dates for Christmas etc which took all of two seconds, but the following hour and a half concerned the team selection for Fridays game.( We are playing Alex Warriors 2:30 Olympic Stadium, Maadi, free admittance, bring the kids, sorry had to get that little plug in) see, totally brainwashed, needless to say the dishes were still sitting this morning……
So….we have Sideshow Bob distracting my poor Pesky, generally with phone calls, emails, and texts. Vitally important stuff it should be said, joke of the day, videos with people falling over, oh and the best one, what are you wearing to such and such??? WTF they even have matching white suits, adidas trainers and are aiming for matching Fred Perry polo shirts, that one is still in the pipeline, but it may well be sorted next week in Dubai where we are all heading for yet more RUGBY.
I guess I should be thankful that we have had a couple of cry offs, the Exorcist will not be gracing us with her presence this year, after last weekend that’s probably a good thing well for my liver anyway, but I’ll miss you Hun. Fabulous name don’t you think, The Exorcist, she won’t leave your house until all the “Spirits” are gone, well the Smirnoff anyway….oh and diet coke, that fat coke won’t do!
Getting back to those dishes, I have off course succumbed to the Parmesan stench emanating from the tagliatelle carbonara I so lovingly prepared last night and scrubbed the smell away. Jeeze that Prill washing up liquid is dangerous stuff, no need for nail polish remover when you’ve got that. I think I’ll pull a Hyacinth Bucket this afternoon and send the driver for some Fairy liquid, so much more gentle.
Anyway, the consequences of Pesky neglecting his duties have yet to be decided. I could remove the beer fridge, but then if he puts the contents in the big fridge it would reduce the space for my wine…..mmmm that’s not going to happen. I believe the best option is to hit him in the pocket, so Pesky we are going out for dinner this evening and NO Kentucky, Pizza Hut, Mc Donald’s are NOT options.