International Man of Mystery

Austin powers has a lot to learn from Egyptian state media, yeah, baby, yeah. It’s bad enough that the policemen here look like extras from strip-o-gram auditions, or failed audition’ees on some Borat inspired spoof, (rejected because they are just too camp, too mustachioed, too 1970’s inspired Chips lookalikes) but the new “from the beginning, he knows his mission” anti spy ads now appearing on state TV are in a whole other league. The ” Mini me” league, sorry couldn’t resist that.

The ominous background music, the weird Dr Evil grimace on the evil foreigners face  leaves you wanting him to offer “1million Dollars” with a little curled pinky tucked into the side of his mouth. Here is the link with English subtitles so you know want I’m ranting on about…

Going with the 1970’s theme, the chef/waiter at the start does have a passing resemblance to Al the cafe owner from “Happy Days” all I’m waiting on is Arthur Fonzarelli, the Fonz clicking his fingers at one of the ladies sat around the table, or thumping a juke box in the background (H)eyyyy!! 

It’s really hard to take anything serious here at the minute, which is probably a good thing. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it keeps you sane but there is never a dull moment. Headlines today include “Mubarak is dead” but this appears at least once a week, I think he has died 76 times since the revolution.

 The conspiracy theorists have him dead since 2004 with a body double attending the trial while he is living it large in…wait for it ….Saudi Arabia. Now if I was going to the effort of body doubles, plastic surgery, secret private jets to whisk me away, then Saudi would not be high on my list of “living it large” destinations.

Other headlines include today include “Salafi MP in Indecency Charge” these Salafis (more conservative Islamists) although “more” doesn’t  really give you the full gist of their agenda, let’s just say Saudi again, have really made their mark since being elected.

 We previously had the “nose job” guy who claimed he had been beaten and robbed to explain his bandaged face, I mentioned previously they even managed to arrest the culprits….. Well the one today claims it was his niece in the car and he removed her face veil to douse her with water as she was feeling unwell when the police pulled up. She claims he is her fiancé…..maybe she is both, I given up trying to apply any logic.

Anyway, back to Austin Powers and our “International man of mystery” The world is a very different place for Austin, he has been cryogenically (i think that the right word) frozen and whisked forward a few decades, unfortunately for Egypt the reverse has happened. Our mystery foreigner in the Advert (with the exception of his newish mobile phone) could hail from the propaganda campaigns of the cold war protagonists. 

They have now withdrawn the advert as they thought it might be sending confusing messages and may harm tourism…No S#!t Sherlock….all I’m waiting for now is the the state media to Photoshop in James Bond alongside Sabahi or Khaled Ali to prove they are enemies of Egypt……if they do I hope they chose Sharm for the secret rendevoux so we can have Daniel Craig in his slinky beach number….and with that wonderful picture in my head…… masalama.


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