Blonde Ambition

I love Egyptians, I hate Egyptians,  but mostly they drive me crazy…………oh boy do they drive me crazy!   Some days I feel like I have  dropped in on an alien planet …………..where is the transporter to “beam me up Scotty”

I have decided the only way to cope is to be ” blonde ” in my outlook, I reckon it’s the easiest  option.  There is no point in being a strong, independent, educated woman in Cairo not when you consider the alternatives.

At the risk of offending those proponents of womens rights and generally setting the cause back 100+ years, for the sake of MY sanity I feel it is the only way forward.

  I know, repeat I KNOW I can put petrol in my own car, pack my own shopping bags, clean my own windscreen, carry my own shopping bags, reverse the car out of a parking spot, carry a box of water, clean my own house, do my own washing, cut my own grass, trim my own hedges, clean my own windows, wash my own hair, file my own nails, understand an exchange rate, read a balance sheet, carry a full set of accounts, fix my own plugs, change my own lightbulbs, change my own wheel,  drill my own holes and hang my own pictures, but what the f@€k is THE POINT.

I am a woman and I’m surrounded by men who want to do these daily tasks, so stuff it I am going to let them.  The fact that my windscreen is streaked, the pictures aren’t straight, that the bag packers invariably put the shampoo with the cheese, the tins on top of the bread, and they break the nuts on the wheel in a fit of showing how macho they are is irrelevant, it means I don’t really have to move my ass.

I have fought it for too long.  I am even tempted to get a maid, two and a half years in I still have a glimmer of optimism that says….maybe the females are better at their jobs than men……how naive am I?….NO on second thoughts I’m not that naive I’ll stick to the cleaning myself. Yeah ok I admit I’m a bit OCD, they just could never do it properly.

Back to the blonde bit,  it has restrictions, and a word of warning for any of you contemplating a similar outlook.  Do not apply it to anything financial or within the domain of marriage.  Because I write this crap, and thousands of you read it…… now that’s a reflection on you, not the content, I get marriage proposals all the time.  It may have have something to do with the fact that online my photograph appears alongside the post  and I will admit I am not adverse to a bit of airbrushing, but I am IN DEMAND !!

I have a collection of proposals, all made online obviously,  which I am saving for an entirely different post but here’s a taster….From “Mr serious man”

I am egyptian man
I am single
I am looking for a wife
Are you interested
Any questions?

Well it’s irresistible isn’t it?…I take it that if I have no questions and an Irish passport, hell any non Egyptian passport I’m sorted. I would like to post a picture of this guy, as of course he sent me one…. but I feel that may be a step too far. If I could describe it, it would go something like this…..

Picture a magazine cover….. the title in the background called….. “Model” ….picture a dark full head of hair….. not necessarily all his……picture designer shades of the mirror on the inside variety circa 1972…….picture a bare chest with a unhealthy amount of gently curling hair laced through HIS fingers,  medallion hanging low, Leopard print speedos…..how lucky am I? ……I’m getting excited just thinking about it ……fortunately I have the picture to know it’s real, if it was a figment of my imagination it wouldn’t go this way,  I’m thinking George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Sean Penn….now for some of you Sean Penn may not be an automatic choice but my hubby looks like him ……..but obviously the hubby is wearing much, much better

Anyway..back to the main point, I’m going to take it easy, let all these “helpful” people assist me in my daily obligations and only grind my teeth from here on in when they totally wind me up by blocking my parking spot, cutting me up on the ring road, give me the wrong change, charge me tourist prices, lie to “save face” don’t use deodorant in 40 degree heat…….easy peasy then no worries!!! 

 

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6 thoughts on “Blonde Ambition

  1. Juanita says:

    Sounds like a great survival strategy….

  2. megsiehoey says:

    Very interesting insight in to the life of Expats in Egypt!

  3. Ammar says:

    Love your observations, but I can only see all the negative aspects of your daily life and since you said on some of your comments that you are having fun in Cairo, then where is all the fun. In other words, what are the positive things that makes you tolerate all the dirtiness and ugliness in Cairo.

  4. maireadhoey says:

    Good point, I think I’ll do another post to cover this properly….but in broad terms I have never laughed so much, Great big belly laughs on a daily basis, there are sheep on motorbikes at the moment heading for the slaughter for eid and no-one blinks an eye, but also the Egyptian people (mostly) are some of the kindest people I have ever met.

  5. Paddy from Cork says:

    I enjoy your observations. Much can be gleaned from your humour. I expect to move to egypt upper (to remote area). I’m concerned about the heat you mentioned in earlier blog. I’m fair skinned from Co.Cork. and dont enjoy the heat. I’m supposed to be posted in the desert (whatever that means) but not given an area.

  6. Nura says:

    Your blog is so funny! Thanks. I’m new here, they are talking about another revolution and I you are the first laugh I have had all day! Thank you!

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